Rising, Falling

So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.” – E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

It’s the last day of winter and it feels like I might never write again even though spring has gently stepped onto the stage. The magnolia trees marching up the street to my Mom’s apartment building have silently blossomed into delicate shades of pink announcing warmer days to come.

I find myself these days making my way through hospital corridors to stand by the bedside of my father and just recently, my mother’s as she lay waiting in Emergency for the results of a test revealing a possible complication from an injury she suffered almost a year ago. Dad has had over a year and a half of struggling with various health challenges culminating in surgery. My world has become smaller, days now taken up with visits to the hospital, attending to the ebb and flow of emails and the numerous calls from the many professionals caring for him – finding time to write is rare at the moment but when I do I am comforted by the words flowing from my pen.

In the rising and falling of my breath and life itself, I try to collect odd moments to gather my thoughts, pray, and appreciate the new road I’m on. A warm shower, a beloved book and a cup of tea are constant companions. Overlaying the uncertainty, spring lets me know it’s unfolding around me no matter what and not to be missed!

And to my great joy, here I am, drinking a soothing hot chocolate, smooth jazz polishing the rough edges I woke up with as I write down the words moving through me at my favourite nook, Veranda Café. Minutes ago, I was lost in dusting, decluttering and organizing my space, tasks to ground my restless spirit. Outside my open window I could hear a blackbird beeping in vibrato making me laugh as my green cloth did its work.

This rising and falling is part of life – I have to make sure I get enough sleep, create space between visits to the hospital for a fragrant chai tea with my Mom, sit on our hill in the sun after a long walk through the park and revel in the wild beauty crouching at the edge of worry ready to catch me if I fall.

The cherry blossoms in all their lush beauty located on Chilco Street here in the West End (Vancouver, B.C.).

A bed of vibrant orange tulips captured at the Rose Garden in Stanley Park (Vancouver, B.C.)

Blue on blue…a gorgeous capture of fragrant hyacinths taken at the Rose Garden in Stanley Park (Vancouver, B.C.).

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About anotetohuguette

I'm currently blogging from the beautiful West Coast city of Vancouver, British Columbia - a vibrant city by the sea, surrounded by mountains and a very unique urban forest.
This entry was posted in blog, journaling, life, memoir, travel and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

40 Responses to Rising, Falling

  1. Shirley says:

    Difficult it is, we who are ageing relying on our young for company and comfort. You are doing such a great job, and are certainly appreciated. The rain is falling like a backdrop. preparing for May, and the play goes on. Brings me closer to Grace, thankful for the warm apartment, food in my fridge, great children and friends.
    Love Mom

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Mom, for these beautiful and very touching words…it was wonderful to giggle with you as I stood by your bed in Emergency and hurriedly left your side to check on Dad 3 floors up after his two surgeries with your words echoing in my head, “Tell your father to move over”…to have you both in hospital on the same day was surreal!

      Like

  2. Wish you ease and joy through your days ahead!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Miriam says:

    I feel for you Kim. I remember those days when mum was in hospital and how my days were filled in caring and just being there for her. I was almost on autopilot. Keep seeking out those beautiful moments and taking time out for you, even if it’s just savouring that cuppa, the coming of spring and the warmth. Wishing you ease in the days and weeks ahead and sending you love and hugs. xo 🌸

    Liked by 2 people

    • Autopilot is the word, Miriam…thank you for leaving your very kind words, I feel so supported and heard…Dad is improving and we hope he makes his way home soon. At the hospital today, I told him that I shared part of his journey on my blog, he answered by saying, “I’m famous now”…I’m glad he still has a sense of humour!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Our thoughts are with you and your parents Kimberlee and you are doing an amazing job. The Universe will always be there to soothe you and replenish you along the way with bird song, soothing hot chocolate and quiet moments for writing ☺💖 xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Quirky Girl says:

    I marvel at your ability to keep the words flowing with such eloquence and beauty during this challenging time. Wishing you much peace. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  6. markmkane says:

    I hope your mom is alright. As for your dad, just being there during these hard times makes all the difference in the world. I went through a similar situation with my father and it felt as if the hospital was my new home. Sending all my thoughts and prayers to your parents for a speedy recovery. Continue to write Kimberlee, even if it’s just a sentence or two. You have a gift that truly needs to be shared with your fellow colleagues.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Mark, for your very kind words – my Mom is being treated as an outpatient now…I just came off the phone with my father’s nurse, there is improvement and if it continues, he may be able to return to his own home soon. I’m so touched by your encouragement…I hope to publish a poem soon that I was able to write in between it all!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Kimberlee, I’m so glad you wrote about your challenges and the situation of caring for your mom and your dad. It’s difficult! My thoughts are with you. I had a similar care situation earlier in March and it takes a lot of one’s energy. Sending you good wishes!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Wishing both your parents a speedy recovery. I hope you find peace during this difficult time, Kim. Your words, even during this tough time, feels beautiful.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Such a difficult time, Kim, and yet you meet it with grace. Life does rise and fall, like all things it has seasons, and there is something sacred in being present to that flow. Love and loss are companions walking hand in hand. I’m glad you ‘re caring for yourself as you care for others, and pleased that you make the time for little joys and quiet peace. My heart is with you. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Ali Grimshaw says:

    You are doing the beautiful work of loving, standing near, just being there. I hope you continue to take time to write, hear the morning birds and care for yourself. These sound like very challenging times in your life. Sending love your way to lighten your day.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. calmkate says:

    hope they both make a full recovery but as we age they do also … great writing, you sound very balanced for all the unknowns coming your way. Take care Kim, and thanks for connecting 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sonderwriter says:

    What a beautiful post. I really recommend the book “Being Mortal” by Atul Gawande. He has a touching part in it at the end about his father that you might appreciate. It’s a tad geared toward those interested in the health profession in the future. But the themes of mortality, and how we deal with accepting our mortality and the mortality of our loved ones, is universal. Wish you the best of luck

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Oh, Kim, I wish I would have seen this when you wrote it…of course it is as beautiful as anything you’ve ever written (I’m sorry to repeat myself time and again…but, “beautiful” comes to mind every time). Also, as you know, I can relate…not to parents’ health issues–but to being pulled in many directions and finding ways to nurture oneself. I’m touching base after weeks of being “disconnected” from our (blogging) community–and, wanted to let you know that I really appreciate how often you look for me/think of me. It speaks to your giving nature and compassion. Thanks for being such a great and loyal friend ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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